Ancient History X
by EmeraldGreenEyes09
Summary: In the year 2009 an archaelogist sets out on a field project in a war torn African Country and find something more than she bargained for.... OC
1. Chapter 1

Prologue

Doctor Jordan Grady was on a mission. Her mission was simple. Evade the guerillas, the automatic gun toting guerillas. Simple enough, and yet, her field projects never were. It was like danger was a life form and it was drawn to her.

As an archaeologist and a consultant to the Smithsonian, she had to wonder how she got herself roped into this. She was in the Congo, a place invested with snakes, bugs, spiders, and rebels, and lots of them. Civil war had been raging for years, and yet, here she was, because recent satellite photos taken after seismic activity revealed what looked like to be the ruins of a very old Roman city.

She couldn't say no to an opportunity like that, could she? Absolutely not. She was going stir crazy sitting in an office, looking at the remnants of ancient worlds under a magnifying glass. She was bored of classifying, of talking, of writing. She needed adventure.

Adventure was what she got, and maybe, a little more than she bargained for.

* * *

Chapter 1

_Field Log of Jordan Grady_

_**May 8, 2009, Eastern Congo**_

_After three days of trekking through dense brush, through humidity and intense bug storms (I was at a loss of what to call the large black swarms of bugs), I've found it._ _This is unlike anything I've seen before; it's something new. Something unique. _

_I'm at a loss as to what it is. It's a structure, a swan like structure or the head of a cobra, well what remains of it. Huge, massive Absolutely massive. I'm awestruck at this discovery that I cannot even describe it in a scientific and detached manner. _

_Whatever it is, it's been buried in the loose soil for quite some time, however I fear carbon dating will not tell me how long; it's not a natural material. It's something, something, dare I say, more ingenious than man has invented to date. I fear if someone should read this now, they would think I have gone crazy. _

_There is a large hole in the top of the cobra head (the large rounded bit at the top of the neck) and what looks like electrical burns along the top. In the morning I intend to clean this massive surface, and see what I can figure out. I'll need to get more gear to go inside it, at the least, some rope. _

_**May 9, 2009, Eastern Congo**_

_The theme today is 'Basket Case' by Green Day. I feel like I'm turning in to one. I've excavated the entire surface of the cobra head (what I've decided to call this large circular portion of the structure) and am extremely shocked/aggrieved at my findings. If I was confused and yesterday, I'm even more so today. It's modern. This is no fossil. There is writing on the cobra head. Great large bold typed letters and number. NCC-1701._

_I don't know what to make of this. It's nothing I've, or I'm sure any one has ever seen before. It's truely...._

Gunshots rang out in the woods, echoing through the clearing where she sat, atop the flat surface of the structure, typing her notes. She quickly powered down her laptop, slid it in her bag, and stood, crouched, and made her way to the edge of the surface, and jumped to the ground, hoping to find some cover in the brush.

Her heart was racing a mile a minute as she reached down to the holstered hand gun on her thigh, sliding the safety off, and cocking it. Prepared.

She wasn't prepared for them to come at her from her side. Wasn't prepared for the assault of French, and although she spoke fluent French, they didn't give her a chance to respond, before they shot at her. She ran, and leaped, pulled herself back up on to the cobras head, and ran, forgetting the hole, completely.

She fell, screaming, bleeding and in pain. She landed with a loud thump and the cavern in which she landed, came alive. Crawling, pulling herself along the carpeted floor (a fact she would only remember later) she muttered to herself, "Come on Grady, strength and energy".

She fainted as the world around her was suddenly full of shooting stars, and as shots rang out from above, she was gone.


	2. Bloody Mystery

He sat leisurely in his comfortable chair, looking around him in egoistic satisfaction. Yes, Captain James T. Kirk of the USS Enterprise couldn't contain his pride. The youngest Captain in Star Fleet, commander of the fleet's flag ship was supremely impressed with the results of the last few weeks. The Entreprise was just beginning it's five year mission to seek out new planets and life, and things were already going well.

James T Kirk believed firmly in win win situations, and when things were won, and won well, he saw no reason not to gloat. It was just his way.

His life hadn't been easy, a fact he didn't spend a lot of time dwelling on. Whatever didn't kill you, made you stronger, and better. The loss of his father George Kirk on his birthday was something, he mused, to use to his advantage, a legacy to live up to, to exceed.

So far, he was right on track to doing some.

"Engineering to Captain Kirk" spoke Montgomery Scott's burr over the communicator.

"Go ahead Mr. Scott." Kirk acknowledged crossing his legs in his captain chair.

"Sir, we seem to be picking up a frequency of sorts. "

"A frequency of sorts? A frequency of what?"

"Well sir, it looks like someone is trying to beam aboard the ship, it's a Federation beam single. Should I let it come through?"

Kirk paused, raised his eyebrow. They were not expecting visitors this day, no, and all federation ships were days away. Curious, "Allow them passage. Beam them to the bridge Mr. Scott".

Within seconds a crumpled, bleeding form was on the beautiful, new, clean carpet at Kirks feet.

The form was unconscious, and bleeding, that much he could see. He could also see from the long, messy, golden brown hair that it was a woman. A woman in strange attire, not in the least like any of the women in Star Fleet uniform. She was bleeding.

He called for Bones, and within moments the bridge was flurry of activity as the young woman was hoisted on to stretch and quickly carried to sick bay.

Kirk stood, silent for a moment, looking down at the stain on the carpet where her blood had spilled, her strange bag in his possession.

He turned slowly to Spock, " Well, that doesn't happen every day."

"No Captain, it certainly does not. Highly unusual. Fascinating incident."

Kirk could do nothing more than chuckle, shrug his shoulders and strut to the turbo lift.

He had to agree with Spock it was truly fascinating, and very mysterious. He had a new mission for this day. Find out who the woman was, how she came to be unconscious and bleeding on his ship.

If there was something Kirk like more than danger, it was a mystery.

* * *

He didn't immediately go to sick bay. His visual assessment of the young woman led him to believe that Dr. McCoy and the medical team would need more than 20 minutes to help her.

He thought of her face, the quick glance he had of it as the medical team had rolled her over and on to the stretcher. She was pale, her face a sculpture of porcelain beauty, with beauty marks accentuating it. Her eyes had been close, as if she had been deep in prayer when she fell unconscious. She was beautiful, even in her strange clothing.

Shaking his head, clearing his mind, he focused on the tangible. Cautiously he set the strange bag on his desk, studying the outside of it. He was a pattern of green in black, he assumed a camouflage of sorts to mimic the forest. It was canvas and quit heavy. He noted several smaller pockets. He opened the first.

Inside was a document of sorts, although he wasn't quite sure. The front was in English, with an Emblem. "Government of Canada, Passport" was embossed in gold tones. Odd, he thought, passports were a thing of the past, a very distant past. He opened it, thoroughly confused.

It was her face, unsmiling staring at him. Her picture, her passport. Jordan Grady, born January 8, 1984, passport issued in June 2008, dated to expire in 2011. Very odd.

He flipped through the document clearly refusing to give much thought to the dates. The little book was stamped on nearly every page, and he found himself distracted with the stamps. He found them fascinating, this Jordan Grady had been many places, places that no longer existed.

The mystery surrounding the newest person on the Enterprise was growing, and growing fast. He couldn't tolerate waiting any longer. He was going to get to the bottom of this, and he was going to do so now. This mystery was just too good for him to wait. Patience was a virtue, but it wasn't one of his.


	3. Starship of Confusion

Death was strangely, warm. And loud.

Not at what I expected. But then, I don't recall having ever spent a lot of time contemplating my own death.

I wanted to open my eyes to the voices around me, I wanted to see who it was. Where I was. But I couldn't open my eyes, they weren't responding to the command. That never happened, my body always did what I told my brain to tell my limbs to do, sometimes without coordination, but this was simple. I willed my eyes to open, but they just wouldn't. My eyelashes felt like they were closed with fifty pound weights.

My battle with my eyelids was quickly lost, as I also lost the battle with sleep. Yes, death was strangely loud and unwilling to compromise.

I woke again, to a quieter, calmer world. This time my eyelids worked with me, and opened, slowly. I found myself staring at a white ceiling. It was so typical of me, I silently cursed myself, another day, another hospital. Every field job it seemed, it was something. Rattlesnakes, earthquakes, tomb raiders, I'd had a variety of incidents, and this was another notch on my belt. I'd never hear the end of it, for this one.

What exactly had I done? Where the heck was I? And why was I strapped down to the bed?

I closed my eyes again, and willed my brain to focus. I was in the Congo. The Congo, ok. The Congo had once been a French colony, but since when did they have modern hospitals? I opened my eyes again and surveyed what I could see, without moving my head. Modern had nothing on this room, everything looked more advanced than the best private hospitals I'd been privileged enough to see the insides of in the past.

Closing my eyes again, praying for patience, I opened my eyes again, and tried my voice. I croaked like a frog, my vocal cords raw, and dry. I cleared my throat, " Allo,bonjour, j'en besoin un peu d'aide" I called in a quiet raspy voice, in French (after all, this is the Congo) to anyone who could hear me, although I doubted anyone could. My voice was weak.

I closed my eyes, weakness and vulnerability were my two fatal flaws. I hated them, but as usual, there was nothing I could do, but endure until someone came to me.

I opened my eyes seconds later to two men looking down at me, with odd expressions. They looked apprehensive, and very concerned. And they were white. I stared up into blue eyes, that looked straight through my own, making me uncomfortable, and reminded me of being strapped to the bed. I quickly averted my eyes from his penetrating gaze, and quickly looked at the other.

They were dressed oddly, very oddly. Like two gay men in uniforms I'd once witnessed by accident having gone shopping on the wrong street at the wrong time, in the wrong city and having gotten caught up in a gay pride parade. I wasn't in the least bit homophobic, but the experience had certainly been interesting.

"You don't look like doctors." I blurted out in my raspy voice before I could stop myself; and this time I spoke English.

They looked at me oddly, I couldn't blame them, I would look at me oddly as well.

The blue eyed man spoke first. " I'm not a doctor, I'm the captain of this ship."

Ok, I'm on a boat. A boat. Logic kicked in, and I spoke quickly. "This must be one of those Red Cross boats that you see on the news. I must've been airlifted from Kinshasa."

He looked at me, oddly, again.

" Not a boat, a Starship. You're on the USS Enterprise."

It was my turn to look at them oddly. I did, I stared, blinked. Closed my eyes, and quickly looked at them again. The dark haired one hadn't said a word.

"Who are you?" I asked directed at neither of them in particular, the blue eyed one answered first.

"I'm Captain James T. Kirk and this is Dr. Leonard McCoy" he said proudly. "And you are?"

" Confused. " I shook my head, " Sorry, Dr. Jordan Grady."

"Dr. Grady, how did you come to be on my ship?" Captain Kirk asked me, in a tone that had me looking into his gaze.

"I don't know. I was hoping you could tell me. I was outside of Kinshasa, looking at something, some ruins, and guerrillas, guns, and then light. Lots of light. I thought I was dead, but here I am, with you....two" I trailed off my ramble and met both their gazes for an equal amount of time and closed my eyes.

I passed out again.

* * *

"Who the hell is she Bones?" Kirk said quietly to Bones after the young patient had passed out.

"I sensed she was telling us the truth. There was nothing but confusion and fear written all over her face. And my god man, could you have been a little more compassionate? She was grievously injured before she got here." Bones spat out to his Captain and friend.

" What of her injuries Bones?".

"Nothing I've ever seen before, only read about. Gunshot wounds. Messy things. " He said in obvious disgust as he pulled the small copper bullet he had retrieved from her insides from his pocket. Off course he was going to keep it as a souvenir, no one would ever believe he had saved someone from such an antiquated injury.

"How in the universe do you end up with a gunshot wound? Where do you even get a bullet?" Kirk said astonished as he took the copper bullet from McCoy and studied it with avid fascination. He handed it back to McCoy. "Page me when she awakes again, I'm not done questioning her." He said and left sickbay.

* * *

Kirk immediately went back to his quarters and continued his dissection of her bag. Putting her passport aside, he opened the next pocked, and found a small leather pouch. He opened it and found yet another picture of the lovely Dr. Jordan of the brightest green eyes he had ever laid eyes upon. This was a Vehicle Operators License, Class C. According to this hard plastic card she was 5'7 inches tall and 126 pounds and resided in Alberta.

Various other cards occupied the pouch. Visa, Mastercard, American Express, Safeway, and Starbucks. All names he didn't recognize. Setting this aside, he moved on.

Inside the largest part of the bag he found a heavy box. It opened up to reveal many buttons, all with the letters of the English alphabet, and several buttons. He had seen something like this before. In a book, this was a computer, a very early form of computer. He didn't dare touch it with consulting someone in Engineering. He set it aside.

The rest of the bag was filled with clothing, and personal effects. He took his time studying the clothing, and smelling and reading labels on her personal effects. These were all items that were highly unusual to him. He knew a lot of women, and none of them used deodorant, sunscreen or Tampax. These were all barbaric items of the women of the past.

He sat back in his chair, and dragged a hand through his hair. On a heavy sigh he stood up, left his quarters and headed to the bridge. If anything could capture his attention right now, it was the bridge. The bridge was his domain. He would ponder this mystery from his chair, where he was the master of the universe and everything in it.

This mystery, he would solve. He is Captain James T. Kirk after all.


	4. Psychiatric Analysis

I woke this time struggling against the bonds that strapped me to the bed. I woke up with a scream on the tip of my tongue, a scream that set a whole room of people in to motion. A scream that brought him to my side.

The Captain of this ship he said. This Star ship I mentally corrected myself. What an odd thought.

I shook my head the best I could to clear the my mind, not that shaking your head really helps.

"Please, un tie me" I murmured looking down my form the best I could. I was naked, this much I could tell, with the exception of the thin, odd fabric blanket that was covering my form.

" Ms. Grady I would love to do that for you. But I have a few questions I need answered first." He spoke in a calm, almost gentle tone.

" Ok." I responded weakly, shocked, and annoyed at how meek I sounded. What was wrong with me, other than the obvious nervous breakdown?

"What is your birth date?" he fired.

"January 4." I responded automatically.

"Year?" he prodded.

"1984. I'm 25 yrs old." I said, filling in the gap, I wasn't' at all sure he could do the math. I mean, didn't he know you aren't supposed to ask a woman her age?

He seemed to lose his train of thought, and then continued " And what were you doing before you awoke here?".

Now this I was fairly sure I could answer, it had started to come back to me during my sleep. "I had received some satellite photos from a source. A large earthquake revealed some hidden ruins, well that's what it looked like, in the Congo. Not the safest place in the world, but who can resist a chance to discover an ancient, lost city? I guessed it was going to be a Roman city."

He nodded, I'm not sure he understood me. "How did you come upon your injuries?"

"Well, there has been civil war in the Congo for the past several years. Things had calmed down as of late, but it's still really dangerous. I got dropped at the dead of night, and made it to the ruins unnoticed, I think at least. But guerrillas, I guess they found me. They shot me when I was trying to hide...." I trailed off remembering the rapid fire French, and my poor attempt at evading.

"And?"

"And, I tried to hide in the ruins, and then I was here. I think I said that already. It's all really a blur. I don't even know what I found. I can't put it together." I rambled off quickly, a tear escaping my eye, I'm not sure why. I was immediately embarrassed.

Tear aside, I looked at him straight in his piercing blue eyes, "Please, un tie me. I'd like to see my things, I'd like to try and call someone at the museum...".

He turned and walked away, ignoring my response. Moments later he returned with Dr. McCoy. He untied me, and before I had the chance to sit up, McCoy was stabbing me in the neck with a, I don't know. I was out cold again.

* * *

"Jim, do you really think that was necessary? She seems to be very calm. I can't see her harming anyone. She couldn't even protect herself. " McCoy spoke a few moments after sedating the young woman. He looked down at her peaceful form and shook his head.

" Yes, for now. I think it's best." Kirk said, turning and moving towards Bones' desk. "I need you to run a psych analysis on her, when she wakes. She has to be crazy."

"Because?" McCoy raised a brow.

"She can't be 25 years old and born in 1984. It has to be some sort of elaborate ruse."

" Well, Jim. Consider the possibility that she is telling us the truth. You know as well as anyone that the future, and the past are at the whim of the universe. Remember Nero?" Bones reminded .

Yes, he did know that. Which is why he was so hell bent on getting to the bottom of the newest passenger on the Enterprise, and off course he would like to have some control on the result.

* * *

"Dr. Grady, you're awake. "Leonard McCoy said to her as she opened her eyes.

"May I sit up without being, well, whatever you did to me?" I said warily, looking at him.

He nodded. I sat up cautiously. I felt pretty well, a little groggy, but in very little to no pain. I was shocked, I'd been shot at close range.

Holding the thin sheet away from my body just a few inches I looked down at my abdomen. It was bruised, but there were no signs of a wound, or any major trauma. I was shocked.

"I was shot, how...how?"

"How, what Dr. Grady?" he was all too calm, like miracle healings were a common thing for him.'

"How am I healed so quickly?" I whispered, looking at him in shock and awe.

"A very talented surgeon?" He said, shrugging his shoulders, again with the nonchalant attitude.

I decided to let it go. Something was truly odd about this place.

"The Captain has requested I run a psychiatric analysis on you." He almost seemed uncomfortable as he spoke these words to me.

I wanted to ask why, and refuse, but thought better of it. It seemed to me I was at the mercy of these men, and perhaps, it should be them undergoing the psychiatric tests instead of me, but I wasn't ready to tell them that, not yet, at least.

I just nodded, and committed myself to four hours of gruelling tests.

"So Doc, did I pass? Am I insane?" I asked cheekily. Four hours of in-depth psycho analysis and I was feeling pretty close to Dr. McCoy.

"Well, you're definitely not crazy, Jordan. Although once you hear the truth of where you are, you might just think you are...." he trailed off, with a small, nervous grin.

"Ok...where am I?" I asked, finally I had the opening to ask the questions I'd been pondering for hours, maybe even days, who knows how long it had been since I first awoke to him and this Captain Kirk.

" You better sit down."

I obeyed.

" You really are on a star ship. Several hundred years in the future, from your birth date." He said in a very matter of fact tone.

I was right, they did need psychiatric evaluation. I guess I just stared at him, he continued.

"Your on the USS Enterprise, we're on a five year mission to seek out new life and new civilization. Captain Kirk is the Captain of this ship, I'm the Chief Medical Officer. You managed to beam yourself, from the place on Earth that you were..." he trailed off.

"The Congo." I supplied.

"Yes, the Congo, and the ship picked up the signal from the transporter you initiated, and we received you, here, on the bridge. You were unconscious and bleeding. You'd suffered a type of injury that hadn't been seen for many thousands of years. I'd never seen a bullet before." He said.

He was sincere, this much I could tell.

"Ok, so I'm in space, is what you are trying to tell me? And I'm several hundred years old?" it was absolutely incredulous. When he nodded his response I fell curled over in the chair I was sitting in and proceeded to giggle myself to tears.

That's how the Captain found me. He cleared his throat to let McCoy and I know he was present. Just looking at him made me giggle and cry harder.

He looked like a Star Ship Captain in his goofy yellow shirt.

"Bones, what is going on here?" He asked in a shocked, and condescending tone. I couldn't stop giggling, however I knew that I should.

"She's perfectly sane Jim. Her story is the truth. I was merely telling her the truth of her arrival, and where she has arrived. She's obviously having difficulty processing the reality of the situation."

Kirk knelt before me, and lifted my chin gently in his finger tips. My eyes focused in on his, as my giggling stopped, and I breathed deeply to catch my breath. He spoke gently, "It is a lot to process."

"I need proof. It doesn't make sense. " was all I said, calm returning to me.

Kirk stood, "Computer, what is the current star date?" he asked.

The wall spoke. The wall spoke, and I fell out of my chair on my arse. "Star date 2233, 05."

I was in the future. On a Star Ship. And I was going to be sick.

* * *


	5. Tequila & the Alphabet Song

I did what most people do when delivered with a great shock. I denied. Denial is every woman's best friend. Surely, we can all ignore the signs and signals of most of the major things in our life, but sure enough they do happen, whether we want them to or not. Denial, is a great friend.

"You know, it's my turn to be punk'd" I said finally, after a few moments of deliberation. I weighed the talking computer and all the things I had witnessed and experienced since waking up. Things were rather odd, but there was no way I was in the future, on a Star Ship. No way. As a scientist nothing was ever impossible, but things were definitely highly improbable. Logic, this was not logical.

It was clearly obvious that they had no idea what Punk'd was.

"Do you have television?" I asked suddenly, for god knows what reason. Verbal diahreah was a genetic malfunction that I frequently blamed on my father. He always said it was better to speak without thinking instead of thinking too much and never speaking. This habit got me into a lot of trouble, fairly frequently as a child in school, but as an adult I quickly learned how to turn the shock of those around me into a thinking process. I was thought provoking.

They again, looked at me with blind expressions.

Ok, so I'd try something small, something universal, "Do you know the alphabet song?" This was universal they had to know it. Again, with the blind stares, I continued quickly, " you know, A, B, C, D..... now I know my ABC's next time won't you sing with me?" I finished off key.

Now they were looking at me like I was crazy. I gave up. "Please, tell you have tequila? Bourbon? Whiskey? Vodka? Anything. Please."

* * *

She is an absolutely absurd and adorable woman. Sitting on a chair in nothing but a blanket, something that just occurred to me that I should remedy. I was about to take my leave of sickbay to return to my quarters to retrieve her old fashioned clothing, when she started rattling off questions.

I hate not having an answer for every question. Unfortunately, neither McCoy or I knew what in the universe she was talking about. Punk'd? Television, well that brought up some distant memories from grade school, but she'd moved on to the next one before I'd had a chance to formulate a response. And then she was signing. Signing.

It was the sweetest thing I had ever heard. Sure, she couldn't carry a tune in a bucket, but the grin that came on her face as she rattled through the human alphabet, and finished with a huge grin, and a small chuckle, and such a hopeful look. When a woman looks at you with such hope in her eyes as she did me, it melts you. You want to take her in your arms, and keep her safe, so no harm can ever disrupt the joy that you see in her.

It was insane for me to be thinking these thoughts. Maybe I needed the evaluation, perhaps I was going crazy, and not the newcomer from the past.

But then, Captains, and Kirks don't go crazy.

I had to get out of there before she started up on the questions again. I did the only thing I knew how to do when dealing with such feelings, I hid them away. "McCoy, I'll send her things down, make sure she get's dressed. Ms. Grady, please stop this nonsense, you're in the future, on a Star ship, the sooner you accept this fact, the sooner we can find a suitable place for you."

I turned on my heel and walked away, the doors hissed open, but I still heard her soft, sweet voice murmur her own name. "It's Jordan."

* * *

It was two hours later when McCoy walked in to my quarters without as much as a knock.

He looked livid. Positively livid. Good, whatever he was going to say, I deserved. I heard the dejected tone of her voice. If I had looked back, I bet I would've seen the joy fade from those crystal clear green eyes.

"Jim, what was that about?" Bones said, not wasting any time cutting to the chase. "You made the poor girl cry."

"She cried?" I asked, shocked.

"She didn't in front of any of us. But I saw her face after she change. She cried. How could you be cruel to someone who's had the shock of their life? She's just a kid."

A kid, she definitely didn't look like one.

I finally cracked, "She had so much hope, and I had no answers."

"So you crush a displaced woman with cruelty?"

"Yeah, I guess so." I was thoroughly ashamed of myself.

"Look, Jim. Make it up to her. Let her out of sick bay, at least, make her a guest on this ship. She didn't want to be here, and yet, here she is. Don't keep her prisoner in sick bay because you don't have the answers." He took a breath and continued. "I mean Christ, you are supposed to know all the answers to everything, that's why you have a crew."

Bones was right, he knew and I knew it. I nodded.

"Don't carry the weight of the world on your shoulders Jim. " Bones said and left.

* * *

It was hours later when I finally worked up enough courage (yes, courage) to go back to sick bay. I needed to apologize. I knew she would be alone, McCoy had retired soon after our conversation and the on duty nurse would be in the sleeping quarters adjacent to sick bay, just in case.

The door opened, and I saw her. She had moved a chair up to one of the port windows, and was looking out at the stars, completely silent. She was absently twirling a strand of her golden brown hair with her fingers. She looked deep in thought, peaceful, but then I saw her reflection in the glass. It was troubled, and pained.

"Ms. Grady?" I asked tentatively, hoping not to sneak up on her and scare her.

She immediately stopped twirling her hair, and her body went rigid. "Yes, Captain?" she asked in a quiet voice. A voice that made me nervous, it was bland, without any emotional inflection whatsoever.

"I would like to ...speak with you. "

She turned to me now, and I was shocked to see how truly pale her skin was, and the small red marks down her cheeks from tears. " I'd like to apologize, for how I behaved earlier." I started hesitantly. " I didn't mean to snap at you. I just, well, I'm not used to now having the answers. I didn't have any for you." I finished in a rush, looking up into her eyes.

"It's ok. I don't expect you to pull a rabbit from a hat. "She said, nodding her head.

"It's not ok. I was cruel to snap at you the way I did. " I persisted, it wasn't at all possible for a woman to forgive a man so easy, I knew this, although I tried to avoid any emotional entanglements and the ensuing arguments with women.

"It's ok. Really. You don't want me here, and don't know how to get me back. I understand the frustration." She said calmly.

I felt undone. How did I screw up something so simple as being friendly and welcoming. How did I let this beautiful woman think she wasn't welcome, and I wanted to be rid of her?

Oh, I guess I did know how I did that.

"Look, Ms. Grady, you can't stay in sick bay any longer," her eyes opened wide in shock, fear coming to the depths of those green orbs so quickly, it made me rush through " I'm having you moved to guessed quarters. Please, follow me."

She seemed taken aback, but the fear was dissipating. "Thank you."

I quickly showed her to her quarters, which were next to my own. Better to keep her close, she was unaccustomed to life in space.

"Thank you" she said again.

"You're welcome. Goodnight Ms. Grady"

"Jordan" she murmured as I left.

"Jordan" I said to myself, her name a caress on my lips as the doors hissed closed.

One thing was clear to me, I needed to figure out how to get her back to her time, or I was going to be stuck with her, and stuck with her, well, that could be dangerous. Very, very dangerous.


	6. Space Elf?

Sleep eluded me. I had gotten accustomed to the sights and sounds of sickbay, and the feel of the bed. This room was nice, and private, and very quiet, and yet, it was new territory, and for the first time in my life, new territory scared me.

Aside from an interesting looking sofa and set of chairs, desk and table and a bed, there was very little in the rooms that I recognized. Not a book, or television in site. No kitchen, no shower. There was a lavatory, the toilet I knew how to operate, however it scared me as well. I'd finally just gotten over my fear of airplane toilets, and now I was in outer space, this brought up a whole new set of fears, fears I'd already forced myself to get over. My butt did not get sucked out into a black hole. No, it was fine.

I'd been on the ship exactly two days; two days after a gunshot wound and I was completely healed, and feeling rather fantastic, which is really hard to comprehend. Feeling great, but scared witless and the inevitable? The inevitable was, I had no control over the inevitable. That was what truly scared me. I think it scared Captain Kirk as well.

I didn't know what to think of James T. Kirk of the very blue eyes and weird clothes. The man was GQ model material, and yet, there was something about him. Something sad, something sad in the back of those blue eyes that made you wonder what demons he was trying to outrun. I'm not a psychiatrist, but am generally a decent judge of character, although my friends would disagree. My friends. Wow. You know the moments in time when your life changes and you stop and reflect on all the things you should've done? I should've spent more times with my friends. I don't know why I didn't. Now, it was highly probable that I'd never have the opportunity to get the Wednesday night phone call for Ladies Night.

If I ever got back, I promised myself that I'd say yes, more often than no. OK, I always said no. Weeknights were always hectic. I'd change if I was able to get back. Change.

Change, is such a big, powerful thing, but such a small word. It rolls of the tongue easily, and yet, it's so difficult to do.

Well, I was in a new place, in a new time, with new people. They didn't know who I was, or how I was in my life before now, so here I was, at a crossroads, presented with the perfect opportunity to make life what I wanted it to be.

* * *

I fell asleep on the floor, and that's exactly how Leo and the Captain found me in the morning. I heard the mechanical hiss of the door, something I was getting used to, and their footfalls. They stopped abruptly before they stepped on me.

They were looking down at me in shock. I looked up at them, and smiled, a tad bit sheepishly, "I guess I was tired, and didn't make it to the bed." I said.

"You do realise, that there is a sofa for you to sit on, right over there?" McCoy said, grinning at me. I must've made some sight.

I nodded, " Uh huh.".

"And you chose the floor?" Kirk threw in.

I nodded. " I was doing yoga, clearing my head. I guess I just fell asleep."

"Yoga?" they questioned in unison.

"Yeah, you know. Exercise. Stretching?" My explanation didn't work, so I showed them. We quickly changed subjects and I stood up.

"We thought you might like to join us for breakfast?" McCoy said, the Captain was silent, and looking anywhere but at me.

"Food. I was wondering if you ate in space." I said, as my stomach grumbled in response.

They both chuckled. We were about to leave my quarters when Mr. Blue Eyes stopped abruptly. He looked at me awkwardly, "You can't go out there in the middle of the morning like that." He said motioning to my tan arms and legs in the fitted khaki cargo shorts and white tank top.

"I don't have anything else, other than the clothes I wore when I arrived...." I trailed off. I wasn't sure what was so wrong with my clothes. I wasn't going to fit in with anyone on this ship in my shorts or in my pants. What did it matter?

"Very well." He said, and we left.

* * *

I didn't want her out in public in those tight, short, shorts. I felt stupid for bringing her appearance to her attention, when in reality her shorts were only a bit shorter than the skirts on the women's uniforms, however, they were not fitted like her shorts. Those shorts, they hugged, caressed every curve of her lower body, and those legs, ouch. They went on for miles, and well, they'd certainly made me breathless.

I shouldn't be lusting after a guest, and yet, I found myself thinking of her for most of the night. I actually got out of bed several times with the intention of crossing the hall to check on her. I managed to talk myself out of that, every time. I was treading on dangerous ground. I normally didn't give much thought to the women in my world. They were there, as pretty objects, as crew members who did their job, as playmates for the late and lonely hours of the night. But that was it.

Jordan Grady was dangerous ground. She was not a crew member and she most likely didn't understand the evolved relationship of men and women. Women in her time believed in love and marriage, and babies. But above all else monogamy.

My parents had those values. Somehow I lost them. Or ignored them. I didn't want to delve into the reasoning behind it. I had bigger fish to fry at the moment, introducing Jordan to Spock.

"Dr. Grady, Jordan, " I said clearing my throat as we entered the mess hall, "This is my First Commander, Spock."

She was looking at him, obviously trying not to stare, but her gaze, it kept shifting from me, to his ears, and back to his face, and then back to me to his ears. She turned red rather quickly. It was sweet.

She was shocked, that much was obvious.

Finally, the reaction I was waiting for, although it was better than I had ever hoped for. "Are you an elf? She asked in awe, blatantly staring at his ears now.

"No. I am Vulcan." My first Commander responded with patience, as Bones and I howled in laughter.

She seemed to mull it over, her face going back to its natural color, her gaze averted to her feet. She look at me under her eyelashes, and whispered quietly, "What's a Vulcan?"

I couldn't help myself, the laugher I had barely controlled burst forth yet again. "Spock, will you tell Dr. Grady all about Vulcans?"

We sat down with our food, and Spock proceeded to give Jordan a lesson on Vulcans. She was transfixed. Hooked.

I knew she would be a curious creature. Maybe I could find a use for her on the Enterprise if I couldn't return her to her time. It was certainly more appealing than leaving her on a Federation Planet or on Earth. At least I could have her close and know she was protected.

But really, I didn't know why I cared. I didn't want to. Caring was dangerous ground.

Later that morning after she'd had her fill (for now) on Vulcan's I escorted her back to her quarters to that I could resume my day and my duties.

"I was wondering," she began hesitantly, looking at the empty room, "If I could get my laptop back?"

"Your what?" I asked, not knowing what a laptop was exactly.

"My computer." She said.

I hadn't yet had a chance to speak with Scotty on whether or not he was able to extract the information from it, or at least bring it up on our own computers.

"I'm sorry, it was destroyed." I lied. " I believe it stopped you from being more seriously injured than you were. There was a bullet in it."

She looked very disappointed and I had a moment's remorse for lying to her. "Damn. All my work was on there. "

"I'm sorry Jordan."

She nodded, and I left her alone.

* * *


	7. There She Goes Again

All - I'd like to start off by saying, I apologize if there are any obvious, and obviously dumb spelling mistakes. I sit down and write at the end of a long day, sitting in front of a computer and writing actual scientific reports....I guess at the end of the day I have a hard time writing reason, instead of raisin, or sight instead of site. Just wanted to say that, so you know one needed to think I was a complete moron. 

* * *

It's been a few weeks, and I've settled in to a routine. Sleep. Breakfast with Kirk, Spock and McCoy, and then spend some time with Spock discussing different species, cultures and planets. We spent a lot of time discussing the past that used to be my present. He was fascinated to hear about the human culture in 2009, the evolution that I myself had witnessed in my lifetime, up until I beamed myself aboard the Enterprise.

We were no closer to figuring out how I got here. I wished I had the ability to go back to the data I had collected, the many photos of the site and the structure, so that I could show them in an attempt of shedding more light on the situation.

It was fairly obvious to me now, after some time to ponder my predicament, that the ruins I had found were not actually ruins. Well they were, they were ruins, but ruins of something from the future coming to my present, to look like something from the past. Wow, try and wrap your brain around that. I could only imagine having to write a dissertation on it to explain the findings. I would imagine strait jackets would be in my near future, if I had not beamed myself to space. Off course, I probably would not have reached the conclusion that the structure was from the future.

I had spent hours, unfortunately, racking my brain over this, trying to put the pieces together, the best I could. I had too much time on my hands, it was apparent. I was bored, and really, starting to feel it. I needed something to do, something else to look forward to other than my daily sessions with Spock and breakfast. I needed more human interaction. Activity. I needed activity. I was suffering from cabin fever.

I wasn't yet allowed to go anywhere on the Ship without Spock, Leo, or Kirk. Absolutely nowhere. Leo was good at stopping by for visits, but they were getting shorter and further in between. I knew he was busy, and was willing to forgive that. He couldn't be expected to be my nursemaid.

And Kirk, well he just avoided me. He barely made eye contact with me over breakfast, barely even acknowledged me when he met me at my door.

I'd never been treated like that in my life. I rationalised his distinct dislike for me on the fact that I am an intruder on his ship, and essentially he has to babysit me. Or maybe, if we had met under circumstances he would still dislike me, just for being me. Although, I wasn't sure how he could claim to know me.

I was angry with myself. Too much time and I was starting to act and think like a woman. Spending too much time trying to rationalize, and think what a man was possibly thinking. Bad idea.

I decided though, I was going to call him on it. I was going to make him talk to me. I had an idea on how to do it. It was daring, it was bold, but for some reason, my impression of the man, he would appreciate daring and bold over normal, and polite.

* * *

I sat on the ground near my door the remainder of the afternoon, half asleep, waiting for the hydraulic hiss of his door to signal that he was back in his quarters. I waited and waited and waited. And then finally, I heard it.

I waited several minutes, composed myself and then broke the rules and exited my room. I wasn't sure if it was proper etiquette in this day and age to knock, or even if you could hear a knock through the door.

Major kink in my plan. I leaned my arm against the wall next to his door, and the next thing I knew there was a hiss, and I was on the floor in his room, looking up at his shocked face. Behind him on a large screen were pictures of me. Private pictures, pictures he could only have gotten from "My laptop".

It came out as an indignant cry. My body was displayed on his screen, in nothing but the tiniest of bikinis, from a beach holiday I had taken several months ago.

All thoughts of my covert mission to get to the bottom of his treatment towards me vanished. I couldn't decide if I was angry, hurt, or humiliated. I was leaning towards a lethal combination of angry and humiliated.

He said nothing, raising my ire.

"What are you doing? I thought it was ruined??" I said, standing quickly, my gaze flickering between Kirk and the photograph.

"I had the hard drives removed, so I could analyze the data." He said in such a tone that implied that he had the right to what was on them.

"So you could analyze the data? Why?"

"I wanted to make sure you were not a threat to my ship or her crew."

My brain stopped working. Threat? Me?

I couldn't help it, tears came to my eyes, and pooled there. They wouldn't fall, not just yet, I wouldn't let them.

"I hope you've learned what you wanted. And to put your mind at ease; I want off this ship. Put me on the next planet, or please, put me on Earth. Just get me off of here and away from you." I said in a low voice, the tears finally spilling over as I looked at his face, and then my photograph. I turned and fled, enough was enough.

* * *

He didn't come to apologize. I didn't think he would. He didn't send Spock or Leo. He did nothing.

The next morning I awoke to a note on the carpet near the door. They would be sending me to Earth the following day and to have my belongings prepared.

I gave him the opportunity to be rid of me, and he took it. I cried. I guess I really didn't need a covert plan to get to the bottom of things. Being invited into his quarters and seducing him would've ended badly, obviously.

Neither Spock nor McCoy stopped to see me that day, nor was I invited to breakfast. Breakfast was left outside my door for me, along with a note from McCoy.

It was a very lovely note, wishing me well on Earth. He said that the Captain had told both him and Spock that I didn't wish to see anyone; I just wanted to be gone.

I wanted Spock and McCoy to know I would miss them. I decided that if I could see them to tell them that, and to explain why I felt the need to escape, than I would write them letters. People still did that, Leo's note was proof positive.

It took me hours and a lot of tears, but finished writing three very different letters. One to Spock, one to Leo and one to the Captain.

I left them sealed on the desk when it was time for me to depart. I didn't see any of them on my walk to the transporter room, nor any of them before I was beamed away. All I heard was Kirks voice over the speaker saying "Send her Scotty."

* * *

Moments later I was standing on a porch of a nice, two story house surrounded by dirt and fields, the crops were just starting to sprout up.

I knocked hesitantly on the door, hoping they could tell me where I was. No one answered. I look around, and noticed the name on the mailbox. 'J.T. Kirk.'

He had beamed me to his residence on Earth. Well, wasn't that just great. I turned the handle on the door and it opened without hesitation.

The house was orderly, and extremely dusty. It was obvious no one had been in there in ages. I walked around aimlessly, looking at the various items that Kirk had left lying around, there were not many.

I quickly decided that I would have to stay in this house until I figured out society, and good find a way to support myself and get my own home. I cleaned the dust off the surfaces, and opened the windows, and in short time the place was longer dusty, and smelling so.

I had found his car keys, a knew that I would have to use them sooner rather than later.

Sooner came a lot quicker than I thought. There was no food in the house. There was money left in a jar, clearly there for the taking. I made a note to pay it back when I could, and took the keys and walked out to the door.

This was going to be tricky. The car was a classic, even in my day and age, but that wasn't what concerned me. What concerned me was finding my way back to the farm. I drove slowly, making mental notes of all the major landmarks, and finally I found a town.

It was already dark, and I thought nothing of it. I parked the car, and started cutting through a park to the market I had seen on my drive through the town.

It's been said, many times, by many people that I attract danger; that trouble is drawn to me like a bee to honey. I suppose it's true, I couldn't deny it, in my time. In reality, it didn't really matter what century I was in, it was still true.

I knew the minute I saw the man or whatever he was, he was green, come out of the shadows that I was in trouble. I knew I was in more trouble when he put his hands on my shoulders to stop me, and hold me in place. I really started to panic when one of those large green hands grabbed at my breast. I started to struggle when that green hand ripped open my tank top. I started to scream when that hand slapped me, and knocked me to the ground. I was surrounded by bright lights before he could pounce on me again.


	8. The Ice Cream Confessions

It took me several moments to realise where I was. I was laying on the transporter pad that I had stood on only a few hours ago.

I stood up cautiously, attempting to cover my exposed chest with what was left of my tank top, it was no use. I knew it was only a matter of time before Kirk would be there, or maybe even Spock.

How had they even known something was wrong? Had they planted a microchip in me? My mind wandered as I stood there trying not to be embarrassed by the two quiet men gawking at me.

I was right; it was only a matter of time, less than three minutes and in strode Kirk. He looked angry, ferociously so. He said nothing, just grabbed my arm and dragged me out of the transporter room.

I had to hop and skip to keep up with him as he yanked me along. I guess we made quite the sight, various crew members stopped and stared at us. Soon enough we were in his quarters, back to the scene of the initial crime. He released my arm, and walked several paces away from me.

He didn't face me for several moments, but then, let out a deep breath and turned to me.

"Your heart rate accelerated so much, so fast, I wasn't sure if you were injured, or what." He said in a rapid jabber of words.

I looked at him astounded. "How did you know?"

He nodded; "I had someone monitoring your life signs on Earth..." he trailed off.

"Thank you. I'm sure I would've been able to handle it. "I said, looking down at my half naked body. He did as well, but quickly averted his gaze back to my face.

"What happened?" he asked gently.

"I umm, well, really, I should've known better. It's the same thing in New York City. Never walk in central park alone. Especially if you are alone and female. "I said quickly, a blush creeping to my cheeks.

"A man attacked you?" he stated the obvious. I nodded, slowly meeting his gaze. "Did he hurt you? Touch you?"

"He ripped my shirt, grabbed my breast. I suppose, no worse than going to a nightclub where every man grabs your ass..." I trailed off, "He was GREEN!" I said with enthusiasm that was slightly out of place.

He chuckled, even though his face was extremely serious, and looked slightly, remorseful and grieved.

"Look, Ms. Grady...." he stopped, "Jordan, I'm sorry I sent you to Earth without anyone to show you around, assist you, teach you."

He seemed incredibly remorseful as he continued, "I'm sorry I lied to you about your computer. I'm sorry I called you a threat. I'm sorry I've treated you so horribly."

"It's ok. Really. "I cut him off. He silenced me with a look.

"No, it's not ok. Have you wondered why I've treated you like crap?" he asked, his eyes fully engaging mine, his were searching.

"Actually, yes. When I came to see you, I was, going to...exercise a few theories." I said, getting to the point and blushing slightly as I reflected on what those theories and what I had rationed to be the best way to test them were.

"I was being a jack ass to you, to push you away. So you would hate me, and therefore alleviate all potential danger."

"Potential danger?" My brain didn't know what to make of that. Had he heard about my reputation? Was it noted in history somewhere that Jordan Grady was an accident waiting to happen?

"Women, from your generation, they expect things of men. "He trailed off, looking down at his feet. "You expect romance, and commitment, and monogamy. "

"So?" I said raising my eyebrow, as his head shot up, and his eyes met mine in surprise. "What do the wants and needs of women have to do with me?"

"I can't give you those things." Was all he said.

"I never said I wanted them..."

"You mean to say you don't want a husband, and children, and a little house on the prairies?" he said with slight sarcasm, perhaps awe. I'm fairly certain it was sarcasm and humour, and maybe even a little desire twinkling in those devilish blue eyes.

"That would be too normal. I don't know what normal is. All I know is, I'll know what I want when I see it." I was being honest. It was true. I had thought or marriage and children, but I never knew when or with you, or really, even if it was what I wanted. I knew it was ideal.

"What do you think you want?"

"Right now? Anything in the world?" I said full if mischief. He caught on; his eyes twinkled with amusement as he nodded.

"Ice cream."

* * *

I had to give him credit, he made it happen, and he made it happen quickly.

"Do you think that you could maybe, get me a shirt?" I asked him between mouthfuls of maple walnut ice cream. He just watched me with amusement.

"Negative. I like this look." He responded as he swept his gaze from my eyes to my shoulders, breast (he lingered for several moments) before continuing down my abdomen, to my short clad legs, and once again, continuing down to my feet.

I couldn't help myself I had to laugh. It felt like we had cleared the air. Sort of.

"So, you were being a jackass because you thought I wanted babies and a house on the prairies?" I asked with curiosity.

He nodded. "Why was that even a concern?" I asked, hoping he would answer in my favour.

He wouldn't answer, not at all. He refused. He looked away, and told me to finish eating my ice cream. I did.

I was feeling bold, which is rare after being attacked by a green handed non-human on Earth. He still hadn't turned his attention back to me, so I decided I'd make him.

I quickly and quietly unhooked my bra, slid it off, and tossed it at his head, and whispered, "So Captain, what do you think? Are these suitable for life in space?"

This was completely out of character for me. But, hey, when in Rome, do as the Romans do. I did say it was time for a change, didn't I?

* * *

She was sitting here, in my room, next to me, half naked and eating ice cream. It was what she said she wanted more than anything. I'd do anything at this point to make her happy. I'd resigned myself to my fate when I'd had her beamed back to the ship.

I was scared beyond words when she had been beamed down to Earth. Scared, knowing the type of trouble that could happen to a gorgeous woman like her, a gorgeous woman with no clue of how to deal with the new society. No idea of what she was asking for.

I couldn't back down and apologize to her for my peeping tom behaviour, so I let her go. A fact I had regretted from the moment I slid the note under her door. But all was alright with the universe, she was with me, eating her ice cream, and I swore I would endeavour to make her happy in any way I possibly could for as long as I possibly could.

Her very presence distracted me, I didn't hear her take her bra, I only realised it was off when it was dangling from my head, the scraps of black lace blocking my vision, my brain going dead. Her sultry voice managed to make it past my ears and process itself in my brain.

I immediately turned to her. "James, its James" I said looking in to her eyes. She was smiling at me, a sweet, sexy, seductive smile. There was something in her eyes. Lust, need, danger. I recognized the look, I knew it well myself.

"Definitely fit for space Dr. Grady. Most definitely. "I couldn't help myself, I kissed her.

I knew she would be dangerous. I was right. I'm rarely wrong about women.


	9. Something to Talk About

Life on the Enterprise forever changed for me after my trip to Earth. I appreciated the security of the ship; and I was finally allowed to venture out on my own, to interact. To live and to love.

Off course, there are other perks, I mused. James T. Kirk being one of them. The man could kiss, and it was apparent to me that he took time out of his day just to spend with me, kissing aside. We were developing something. He constantly reminded me that he didn't do 'relationships' but by my observation and by those of Nyota (my new best friend) he didn't pay heed to any other female.

This was entirely new territory for me. Casual relationship. We weren't sleeping together, although I kind of figured that would be the next progression of our relationship. I mean, I assumed. I really had no idea. I never had time for this type of 'friendship'; my entire youth was spent with the focus of school and sport, and then university came and went and I walked away with a Ph.D at 24. Not many people do it, and if they do, something is sacrificed. Mine, it was my social life.

I'm a 25 year old virgin. I'll never admit that to anyone, although I think Nyota has assumed as much because I can't quite keep up with her conversations on the finer points of sexual relations. And who would've known that Spock, my dear, very serious Vulcan friend, and lately teacher, was so wild? Or at least, he sounded wild.

I had to wonder what James would be like. I'd spent too many hours imagining what I didn't really know since we first kissed, and every night since then. He made no attempt to go further than kissing. I was starting to think he was leaving the development of 'us' up to me.

Or maybe he really wasn't in to an 'us'. I had no idea. Whatever we were, I was ok with it, for the time being. I could control my hormones when he was around, absolutely.

* * *

I watched her from across the room. She was all smiles as she talked in hushed tones with Nyota. She looked like sunshine and cotton candy in the multi coloured dress she had obviously borrowed from Nyota; I hadn't procured anything quite so lovely for her yet. I wouldn't want anyone else to see her looking so gorgeous.

Every time I see her it seems my heart stumbles and beats double time. I find myself taking time out of my day to visit with her; to talk, make her giggle that ever so sweet giggle of hers. I make time to go and kiss those luscious pink lips of hers, run my hands through her wavy hair, or down her cheek or arm. I took the time just to be close to her.

I never did that, for anyone, ever. I was starting to think there was something seriously wrong with me. I couldn't quite put a word to the way she made me feel. How the thought of her made me feel. She was always somewhere on my mind. When I'm in communication with Admiral Pike, she'll pop into my mind and I'll lose track of the conversation for a few seconds.

She was a distraction, but I knew from experience that it was better to keep her close and know she was safe instead of being distracted and worrying about her like an old woman.

Today I decided I'd keep a little distance from her and have my lunch with Scott and Chekhov. Bones and Spock soon joined, obviously taking a look at how focused Nyota and Jordan were on their conversation and deciding not to interrupt.

"She sure has settled in well." Bones remarked taking a seat next to me. He didn't comment further but dove into his food with vigour.

"Indeed. It is highly unusual for a human, and a female human to adapt so well to such immense changes." Trust my First Commander to always make a scientific analysis. It did indeed make me chuckle.

"She is something special." I said, before I could think. All eyes were now focused on me.

"You've been spending a lot of time with her lately Jim..." Bones trailed off, looking at Spock to continue.

"I have noticed you have become distracted in your duties, Captain." Spock was ever so formal. I cringed. I knew he was right.

"It's dangerous Jim. For everyone on board, for you to get....distracted with sex." Bones finished. Spock would never have been able to say that. The thought would've made me smile if we hadn't been discussing my 'relationship' with Jordan.

"We're not sleeping together; we are merely, hanging out." I corrected, looking at Bones.

"What?" Scotty, Chekhov, McCoy all said in unison as Spock looked on perplexed.

"You heard me. WE are not, and have not engaged in sexual intercourse." Ok, so I was growing a little impatient.

"You're in love with her." Bones said in a soft, awed voice after moments of deliberation. I looked at him incredulously.

"I am not."

" Have you been with any other women since she arrived?" McCoy asked pointedly.

"No? But what does that have to do with anything? I've been busy." I argued.

"Not too busy; you spend hours with her daily."

"I am not in love with Jordan. " I said in a determined tone, my teeth gritted. "I'll prove it. You see that leggy blonde over there, what's her name...Lt. Sanick? I'll wine and dine her tonight, and you can all rest assured that I do not love Jordan Grady."

They nodded, and maybe a bit of a bet ensued. Men will be men after all.

* * *

He didn't join me for lunch today, although the hairs on the back of my neck notified me he was in the dining hall. He sat with the guys today. Fair enough, Nyota was giving me step by step instructions on simple ways to pleasure, simple ways that a virgin could carry out without looking like a virgin.

Tonight, I was determined to take our relationship to the next level, maybe even he would start to admit that we were in a relationship. I was full of hope and joy at the thought. I couldn't wait to see the desire, and love in those blue eyes when I went to him tonight. Everything would be perfect.

I needed to keep myself busy to help the time pass. I decided a workout would help exercise some of my nervous energy. Bones had shown me the gym facility soon after my return to Earth and I tended to spend a good two hours in their on a daily basis. I always believed, if you don't use them you lose them. I could only imaging how my life in outer space would quickly impact my health and physique after years of activity on Earth. I was determined to stay in the best possible shape.

I did my two hour routine of running and weights and headed back to my room to shower, and get dressed. I couldn't help but smile. I would only just be dressed when James would show up for his afternoon visit. He'd spend a half an hour with me relaxing, talking, cuddling and kissing me, and then he would head out to do other 'Captain' related duties. I would see him next at dinner, and then after that he'd do some more work, and then come back to and we'd spend time together.

Those were my favourite times of the day.

Except, today he didn't show up. All the same, I bet he was busy, and, well, seeing him might make me nervous.

I dressed carefully for dinner in a Nyota Uhura outfit. The woman had clothes, and most of them were so daring I felt like a fish out of water wearing them. But they looked good, or at least she told me they did. I had little choice in the clothing department. I had very little with me in the Congo and subsequently very little in space, and even those precious few things were seriously reduced after my trip to Earth. I really needed to find out how and where I could get clothing of my own, and in more my own style at some point. I couldn't walk around looking like a Greek Goddess every day.

Tonight was a special night so I dabbed on a few drops of my perfume from Earth that survived everything in the Congo. I was fairly certain I wouldn't be able to find my scent anymore, so I was rationing it. So far I hadn't worn it, but tonight, was special. I dabbed Cool Water (By Davidoff) behind my ears, on my elbows, wrist, under my breast and behind my knees. I didn't even catch myself humming my song.

Everyone has a song, a song for when things are going really well, a song for when things are going really terrible. My song I always listened to for the 'great times' was Today by the Smashing Pumpkins, and I was humming and singing the words lightly under my breath.

I realised, I was in love with James T. Kirk, and tonight I would show him. Today is the greatest.


	10. Love, Pain, The Whole Damn Thing

I walked to dinner alone. I knew he would be waiting for me, and he was. He looked so handsome so debonair standing near the entrance of the dining hall. I couldn't help myself, my heart rate quickened, and my knees threatened to turn to jelly. I focused myself on his beautiful face, he was looking right at me.

I smiled at him as I continued forward, my mind only half focusing on the pumps on my feet, also courtesy of Nyota.

He smiled back, but I quickly realised it wasn't too me. A blonde appeared to my right and walked towards him. I didn't think anything of it, until he put his arm around her waist, and dipped her into a kiss.

I stopped in my tracks, almost tripping on my heel, a gasp escaping my mouth at the scene unfolding before me.

I watched him set her back on her feet as he kept his hand firmly at her wait, and reached his other hand to place a piece of her blonde hair behind her ear. I turned around, stopped, and looked back, and turned around again and fled.

* * *

She looked heartbreakingly beautiful. I watched her walking towards me with a sense of impending doom. She smiled and I smiled back towards her. I knew she would think I was smiling at her, and it was cruel, but I had to. Lt. Sanick was approaching me from her right.

I had to make this moment count, even thought I dreaded it. I needed to convince them, and myself that I wasn't in love with Jordan Grady.

I dipped Lt. Sanick kissing her with as much as enthusiasm and passion that was expected with this type of over the top gesture. I watched Jordan stop in shock and almost trip over those dangerously high heeled shoes. I watched her knees buckle as she regained her balance.

I brought Lt. Sanick back up to her feet, leaving my hand at her wait, and gently tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear, a gentlemanly gesture, as I focused all my attention on her. Sort of. I saw Jordan turn to walk away, stop, turn back, I guess to verify her eyes weren't tricking her.

Her eyes, they were shinning like emeralds with tears that were about to fall.

I leaned in and kissed Lt. Sanick one more time for good measure, this time she fled.

I had succeeded, although I wasn't sure I really had.

Dinner with Lt. Sanick was fairly painful. I didn't really know her, and now I knew why. She was really rather boring aside from the fact that she is a lovely lady. Looks, brains, but nothing else. No character whatsoever. I was bored. But I still had one more item to do before I could close the chapter on Lt. Sanick.

I unleashed my smile on her, and suggested we have a night cap in my quarters. She was more than amenable.

I made a point of making her giggle and call my name as we passed Jordan's quarters. She needed to know I wasn't going home alone tonight.

I felt sick. But Bones and Spock were right, it was for the best.

I couldn't wait to get Lt. Sanick out of my bed, and out of my quarters. The deed was done, I felt no need to cuddle her, and make bed time talk. I wanted her to go. She saw the logic in getting a full nights sleep before duty, especially if we were to do this frequently. I didn't have the energy for an argument or a discussion, so I let her go with the belief that this would happen again. She would catch on soon enough, she'll remember my reputation and chalk it off, and be another one of the many women on Earth and in space to brag to have been with James T Kirk.

Somehow, this didn't cheer me up. It usually made me feel great to hear that women bragged about having been with me, of having experience the James. T Kirk experience.

I walked her to my door and gave her a courteous kiss on the cheek, and watched her walk away, rubbing my eyes to adjust to the lights of the hallway. I stepped out of my door and caught myself walking towards Jordan's door.

I stopped myself before I knocked. I sighed, and turned, when the soft music she had playing caught my attention. The voice of the singer was barely audible, and it was obviously something from her time. I listened closely at her door.

"_Oh, I thought the world of you.  
I thought nothing could go wrong,  
But I was wrong. I was wrong.  
If you, if you could get by, trying not to lie,  
Things wouldn't be so confused and I wouldn't feel so used,  
But you always really knew, I just wanna be with you._

But I'm in so deep. You know I'm such a fool for you.  
You got me wrapped around your finger, ah, ha, ha.  
Do you have to let it linger? Do you have to, do you have to,  
Do you have to let it linger?"

* * *

I didn't care that people were stepping out of my way and gawking at me in concern as I ran (as best I could in the shoes) tears threatening to spill from my eyes, from the dining hall.

I didn't know where I was going. I went back to my quarters. I caught sight of myself in the mirror, all dressed up, with makeup and perfume on all the spots Nyota hinted at. I was disgusted with myself. The tears finally spilled over, as I ripped the dress from my body, washed the makeup off with a excessive force and stumbled into the other room to my laptop.

I turned on my song list and sat down on the floor to think.

Off course, I heard him brining her to his room. I heard her giggling, and his whispers through the door. I heard it all, right down to the hydraulic hiss of his door. Three hours later I heard them again. I heard her whispering sweet nothings and him sending her on her way. The song playing, couldn't have fit better.

"_Oh, I thought the world of you.  
I thought nothing could go wrong,  
But I was wrong. I was wrong.  
If you, if you could get by, trying not to lie,  
Things wouldn't be so confused and I wouldn't feel so used,  
But you always really knew, I just wanna be with you._

But I'm in so deep. You know I'm such a fool for you.  
You got me wrapped around your finger, ah, ha, ha.  
Do you have to let it linger? Do you have to, do you have to,  
Do you have to let it linger?"

His door shut again, and I stretched out on the carpet, like my first evening in this room, and cried, the soft voice of Delores O'Riordan offering little comfort.

Maybe change wasn't such a good idea. Now I knew why I always spent so much time with books and studying what has already happened. The past can't hurt you, a book can't make you cry. To realise you are in love and to have your heart broken on the same day, I didn't know how to cope.

Change, it sucked, I thought as I drifted into exhausted sleep, my heart feeling like a black hole.


	11. The Ship That Keeps on Giving

I hadn't seen her in days. No one had. She hadn't left her quarters. The only sign of life was the constant, faint hum of her music. She didn't even acknowledge her door. I didn't know, I hadn't tried to visit, but I'd heard firsthand accounts from Spock who had heard from Uhura, and who had tried himself. And Bones.

They were all allowed to worry about her, to care about her, and yet I was not. It didn't make sense to me. I might be the Captain, but I'm entitled to a little happiness, and god forbid, love as well.

I missed her. I really did, even though her face, and those shinning eyes with tears about to fall haunted me every night since I'd taken Lt. Sanick to dinner. Three days, and I could barely function. I caught myself repeating orders; forgetting my responsabilities. I was undeniably distracted. Not to mention Lt. Sanick, was a complete nut.

I had been hopeful that she would catch the drift that it was a one nighter, that I was just living up to my young legend. That I was being the Jim Kirk everyone knew from the Academy. She had not. She left me notes, and communications constantly. I had successfully avoided her for three days. I knew luck could only hold out so long, so it was my top priority to have her reassigned to another ship, or a space station, or even in some capacity on a Federation Planet.

I finished up my ship log, with a little less enthusiasm than usual, and headed to lunch. Meals were a dangerous time. Half the crew ate at the same time, and I had a fifty percent chance of running into Lt. Sanick. Christ, I didn't even know her first name, and honestly, I didn't really care. She was a mistake, and quite possibly the biggest mistake of my life.

I joined Spock, Bones and Uhura at lunch. It was the usual conversation, at least the usual since I broke Jordan's heart. Except, today was different. Today was very different because not fifteen minutes since I sat down did she come loping into the room, pale, and tear stained, holding her laptop carefully. She came straight to our table, ignoring me.

"This is why I'm here." She said, her voice weak, but obviously satisfied with herself for find the answer. She set her laptop on the table and clicked a few buttons, and turned the screen to face Spock and I. On the screen were pictures I hadn't gotten around to snooping through. They were in a folder that didn't imply fun, they were in a folder that implied work. At the time I hadn't been interested in her work.

Now I was, deeply intrigued.

She spoke when she realised she had our full attention, Bones and Uhura went and stood behind us to look at the screen, effectively blocking it from the view of everyone else in the dining hall, for which I appreciated.

"I didn't put it together until last night." She said softly. "I saw a picture of this ship, in Sick Bay....and it didn't clue in. I think it was the shock of well, everything." She paused, and took a deep breath. "The ruins I found....are this ship. NCC-1701." She finished as she flipped to the picture clearly displaying the numbers that I knew were on my ship, my Enterprise.

"I don't know much about the weaponry of this time, but those beamy things...umm...phasers...would they leave burn marks such as these?" she asked flipping to another photograph. Spock nodded, as he studied the photograph. "Would such weapons leave holes such as this?" she flipped to another photo. We all nodded, in rapture.

"I don't know when, I don't know why, and I don't know who, but I can say, it was quite a battle." She murmured. "There were no traces of the lower part of the ship, the engine rooms I guess. At least not in a hundred mile radius of where I found this. If they had I would've seen something on sat photos."

We were all speechless as her photographs continued to play through on the screen. After a few moments, she closed the screen of her computer, picked it up and tucked it under her arm, and made to exit the dining hall.

I couldn't even chase after her, I could think of nothing but my Enterprise, a wreck that she found, in the past. This was just, too peculiar. Well, maybe not, meeting Spock's older self was peculiar, this was just, well, unexpected.

It never occurred to me that my ship, had done me a huge favour, that my ship was the gift that kept on giving.

* * *

Seeing him, eating his lunch with his friends was hard. Just seeing him was hard. Just being close to him, and I felt like I was about to crash and burn again. But I couldn't. I had a very interesting, and scary discovery to show them.

After crying myself to sleep I reverted back to my old self. I gave myself a project and I worked tirelessly at it until I was satisfied. I had figured out how I came to be in the future on this ship. Except, I still wasn't sure of the most basic questions we try to answer in science – How?

How did this spaceship end up a wreck and a ruin in my time, on my earth? I couldn't answer that. I was fairly certain, neither could Spock, or Bones, Uhura or Kirk. They looked at me speechless.

I found myself looking in to his blue eyes and that was all I could handle. I ended my 'dissertation' on what I thought happened, closed my computer and made a quick escape. No one followed.

I headed straight back to my quarters. I was starting to feel cooped up, but it was for the best. I didn't need to be out and about and risk running in to him. It was bad enough that I had to go and talk to him, and it was bad enough that those blue eyes made me want to curl up in a ball and cry again.

It was bad enough that those blue eyes, that belonged to the man I loved could bring me to my knees.

I needed to know what happened to the Enterprise; I wish I had had more time to study the wreck. I wish I had taken time to look on the inside instead of focusing so much time and energy on the exterior. Woulda, shoulda, coulda.

Another day past, and finally I admitted that I was bored, and needed something to do. I decided to face the world, or the crew. I would run the risk of running in to him, but it was a chance I had to take before I went mad.

I was relatively shocked no one, not even Spock had stopped by since my revelation in the dining hall to discuss it further. So instead I sought him out.

I tried Uhura's quarters and found that I made a good guess, he was there. They invited me in. Uhura was visibly happy to see me, and did not waste time in pulling me for a hug, and to tell me that I could talk to her about anything. I knew she already knew what happened. If she only knew how it hurt.

"Spock... I need something to do." I said to him, not looking at his face. I was embarrassed by Uhura's out pouring of love and sympathy. He said nothing so I continued, "I need something to keep my brain active. I need something to study. Anything. Just give me a goddamn reason to live." I finished in a whisper.

He nodded, "I will come and see you tomorrow and provide you with a task. Is this agreeable?".

I nodded, "Thank you. Thank you."

* * *

"Captain, permission to speak?" Spock said as we sat in a small room off the bridge reviewing the latest information from Star Fleet.

I nodded; it wasn't as typical as one might think for my Commander to be so formal, which led me to believe he was going to tell me something either personal, or something I wasn't going to like.

"It's Dr. Grady, "he began as I instantly perked and stared at him, waiting for him to continue, " She's asked me to give her a task. Something to do to keep her brain active/distracted. In her words, ' anything, just give me a goddamn reason to live."

I said nothing. Spock continued. "I am concerned for her well being. She does not eat. And it is apparent she does not sleep. I fear she may be depressed."

I said nothing.

"I believe, as Nyota has said, that our 'teasing' of you, have led to her broken heart. I believe that her broken heart has led to the unhappy state that you are currently experiencing. Her broken heart has made you more distracted than when you were both happy."

I looked at Spock now, half expecting him to continue his speech, I was not disappointed. "I believe that that logic does not exist in this situation. Logically, you should not be distracted now that the item of distraction his removed, and yet you are more so...." he trailed off.

"Love, Spock, is completely illogical." I finished for him, my voice raw with emotion.

* * *

I gave Spock an assignment to give to Jordan. It was something I hoped would make her happy and would force her to be out and amongst the crew. It would enable Bones to keep an eye on her; I wanted to know if she really was well. Spock had brought up a valid point. She wasn't eating, at least not when everyone else was, and it was apparently in her brief visit to the dining hall that she wasn't sleeping.

She'd been so pale. She looked so fragile, like those antique dolls my mother had. She had looked like a porcelain doll, except there wasn't a bright splash of colour on her cheeks. She'd been completely pale. Her lips looked even more red and plump, and her eyes, they stood out like glittering jewels in the sun.

I loved Jordan Grady, woman from the past, the woman of my hearts present, and if I could win her back, on my heart and soul, she would be the woman of my future. The only one.

I felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. Some say that admitting things to yourself is the first step. It's true, it's the first step, a huge step. I might've made a huge mistake, but I could fix it. Absolutely. There is nothing that cannot be done with a little effort and perseverance. I'm famous for it.

I just needed a plan of attack.


	12. Party like it

"You can't be serious." I said dripping sarcasm as I looked at Spock in shock.

We were having a meeting in my quarters to discuss my task, as promised.

"Indeed Jordan, I am serious. The Captain would like you to plan a party for the crew."

"You do realise that I'm not a party planner? I'm an archaeologist." I said slightly indignant.

"Yes, I know. I know. He...I mean we...just thought this would be a good way for you to become acquainted with the crew, and perhaps culture us on the 2000's?"

I sighed. Oh well, what could it hurt to plan a little 2000 theme party for the crew? I knew it wasn't Spock's idea. I knew it from the minute he told me, stumbling over his words was only the proof.

"Ok, I'll do it. But please, make the next task a little more, educational?" I said. I don't know why I felt I had the right to make demands, and yet I did. I did elicit a chuckle from Spock who obviously agreed with me that this was a poor use of my time.

If he wanted a party, I'd give him a party he'd never forget.

* * *

Five days later I stood in the dining hall that I had worked tirelessly at converting into a night club after the dinner hour in preparation for the evening's big crew party. It wasn't quite the same as a night club in New York or Chicago, or even Washington or Toronto, but it was pretty good for what I had to work with.

I had been forced to enlist help from the Engineering team to figure out a sound system that could play from the MP3s on my laptop. Scotty was more than up to the challenge to figure out a way to make my outdated 2000's technology function with the technically advanced star fleet equipment.

I had to admit I went all out. I had managed to teach the dining hall staff how to make Bellini's and Mojitos, Jaegerbombs and tequila slammers. Everything looked amazing, smelled amazing, and I had to admit I couldn't wait to have a Red Bull Jaeger bomb. I needed a drink, I deserved a drink.

With an hour left before the 'doors' opened, I headed to my quarters and took a quick shower. I dressed in what was left of my clothing, well sort of. I butchered my blue jeans that were in my pack to make a very short denim miniskirt; in combination with a very petite, and stomach revealing tee shirt I had borrowed from Nyota I almost looked like I was going out for a night on the town in 2009. It felt good to be doing something normal, which made me wonder if that was Kirk's original intention with giving me this task.

I didn't want to think about him, or his motives. I knew damn well he didn't care about me. He probably wanted a party thrown so he could flaunt blondie in front of me. Well, I figured, two could play that game.

I got back to the dining hall with ten minutes to spare. Nyota, Spock and Bones were the first to arrive, and early I might add. They were all in shock and awe. Spock, off course wouldn't admit that, he did however look around quite a bit analysing everything that I had done to simulate a social club from 2009.

He didn't ask questions, I knew he was dying too. I'd give him his chance tomorrow; tonight it was time to be a DJ, and to have some fun.

I'd never been a DJ in my life, and really had no idea what type of music the crew would like. It was a crap shoot.

Within ten minutes of the party commencing there were over 100 crew members dancing, and getting drinks. They seemed to be giving my drink selection a shot, and seemed to be smiling. It was too early to call it a success, but I was fairly confident I had hit the ball out of the park and they would enjoy themselves and maybe feel a little bit like they weren't stuck on a space craft, in space.

I saw her the minute she came in. I would forever recognize the yellow of her blonde hair, and the swagger of hips. Her face kissing James was permanently engraved in my mind. She looked around, obviously searching for him before she retreated to somewhere in the room where my eyes couldn't follow her.

Just seeing her killed my mood, and I felt like returning to my quarters and sleeping for another four days. But I was determined, she would not ruin my night and neither would he. Deep down I wondered what made her so much more special than me? Why he threw me away for her? What did she have that I didn't?

Playing that game was dangerous, I knew this, so I immediately stopped myself, and switched the song.

"This song is going out to my friend Nyota...." I said into the microphone system Scotty had designed for me as I quickly switched to " Piece of Me" by Britney Spears, and then jumped down from my small platform and went and danced with her. .

* * *

"This song is going out to my friend Nyota...." she said, and then jumped down from her little stage and started to dance with Uhura

She looked hot. I couldn't take my eyes off her through the crowd of people. Absolutely sexy. She was all leg and exposed skin.

I forced myself to tear my eyes away from her and her seductive dancing to a song that I didn't know, but had to admit had a very catchy beat about someone named Britney.

I scanned the room quickly and found Bones and Spock. I headed straight to them keeping my eyes fixed on them.

"Hey, this looks amazing." I said to them both, and to no one in general.

"She has done a fantastic job! And these Jaeger Bombs are incredible." McCoy said with a lot of energy and enthusiasm. It was clearly evident that he may have already over done it on the Red Bull, he was dancing from foot to foot and shaking a little bit to the beat of the music.

The song change effortlessly, and I had to look over to where Jordan and Nyota was. They were still dancing together; it looked like she was singing along to the song, her eyes closed as she moved. "We fight, we break up, we kiss, we make up...." the singer sang as I watched her.

I couldn't help myself, I had to go and speak with her. Or at least try too.

I headed in her direction as the song ended and a slower tune came on about being Amazed. It was a lovely song, with a lovely sentiment. I watched Nyota pull Spock on the dance floor as I headed towards her. She was looking at me like a deer caught in the headlights and I wish I hadn't been the one responsible for creating that look on her face.

I was two strides away from her when I felt someone's hand on my shoulder preventing me from taking the last two steps. I turned to look who it was, and before I could step away, I was dancing with Lt. Sanick.

She had pulled herself to me so tightly I could barely move, nor dislodge her. I took one look at Jordan as I struggled, but she had already disappeared into the crowd and I was stuck dancing with Lt. Sanick.

I definitely needed to resolve this situation, because it was apparent now she hadn't taken the hint.

Lucky for me the song was short; and as the next song came on, I pulled Lt. Sanick with me out of the dining hall.

"Lt. Sanick," I said in my most formal Captain's voice, " Please be aware that as of 0500 tomorrow am you are transferred to the USS Excelsior. Remote to transporter bay 1."

"But James...." she started, and god I hated that whine tone to her voice, "What about us?"

"There is no us. There never was. You were just a big mistake." I said, hoping she would understand that I was serious.

"Is this because of that little....girl...from the past?" she cried, great big crocodile tears springing to her eyes as she searched for the right words to describe Jordan.

I was immediately on the offensive. " Don't talk about her. Don't go near her." I advised harshly, leaving her behind and returning to the dining hall.

Jordan was nowhere to be found, well that was until the crowd parted. She was standing at the bar she had set up shooting down red liquid with Scotty and Bones.

I headed over in that direction, but before I could reach her, she sprang back out on to the dance floor and started to dance with Nyota again.

* * *

I am so drunk. I thought as I danced, and danced with Nyota. I was sweaty and drunk, and I thought I would cry.

I refused, I absolutely refused. One Jaeger bomb with McCoy led to two with McCoy, to three with Scotty, and so on and so forth. I was feeling pretty damn great, and now understood why people drank to ease the pain, it did help.

After a few songs I danced my way back to the platform, and did what usually happens to those who are drunk to escape their feelings, I let the whole crew know them. I didn't even think, I just picked up my improvised microphone and put my foot in my mouth.

"This song is from a good Ol' Canadian Band....dedicated to your Captain, James T. Kirk...it's a little bit of a rock song....."Nothing Could Come Between Us..."

This time I didn't spring from the platform to dance, this time I sat down on the ground and listened to the song, and listened to the crew partner up and start dancing.

* * *

She was dedicating a song to me, a song from a good Canadian Band (a band she obviously liked, they came from the same Country as she). I made a note to ask her about that, and what exactly that meant at a later date. I was too excited to hear this song with a very promising title she was dedicating to me. I listened in rapture as the opening chords played, and she disappeared from my line of sight. I wasn't sure where she went.

Well I'm running back and forth from here to South Carolina  
Wishing you were here, I guess I should watch what I wish for

You're right on time, so invite me in  
this is where your trouble begins  
But I like you better than the other ones  
You say I'm right when you know I'm wrong  
we could never just get along  
Don't you hate when it gets stuck in your mouth  
and then those words get in the way  
She said...

Nothing could come between us  
One of those favourite things that she used to say  
That's just what she said  
Nothing could come between us  
Sorry to say but I don't feel the same

You're so damn relentless, and you will find,  
the two of us are like two of a kind  
But it hits you harder than the other ones  
You said it loosely, when I'm just sitting here with myself  
Don't you hate when it gets stuck in your mouth  
and then those words get in the way  
She said...

Nothing could come between us  
One of those favorite things that she used to say  
That's just what she said  
Nothing could come between us  
Sorry to say but I don't feel the same  
Since home is where the hurt is

It's on your conscience, I'm not for sale  
It's on your conscience, I'm not for sale

Nothing could come, oh nothing could come  
She said...

Nothing could come between us  
One of those favorite things that she used to say  
That's just what she said  
Nothing could come between us  
Sorry to say but I don't feel the same  
Since home is where the hurt is

Oh nothing, oh nothing, oh nothing  
It's on your conscience, I'm not for sale

It was my turn to need a drink. I was safe to assume that she was sending me a message. It was going to take a lot of effort to get her to even talk to me again. A lot of effort, and at this juncture I needed advice.

I needed Uhura to help me.


	13. Like Sands through the Hourglass

I awoke with a start. The ship seemed to rattle and roll as red lights started flashing in my room, and what sounded like a fire alarm went off. At first I thought I was dreaming, but then the ship shuddered again, and I could smell smoke. Clearly, something was wrong, I had no idea what, but I was scared enough to leap out of my bed and dash for the hallway.

Panic set in, as I saw people scurrying down the passageway, a slight edge of fear in all of their expressions. NO one even stopped to take notice of the fact that there was someone (me) standing there half naked in their underclothes.

Before I knew it I was the only one left in the passage, and real fear and panic set in. I could smell smoke from somewhere, it was very faint, but as for that, and the alarm, and flashing red lights, there was silence.

I headed in the general direction of the crew that had passed me went; I was lost in the maze. At some point survival instincts kick in and your sense become more and more aware of your surroundings. I followed my ears to where I heard commotion, and was shocked and sickened to what I found.

Early on in my life I thought that I would make an excellent doctor; I knew I would be able to be caring and sensitive to the patient and the family; but then, on a school trip in the third grade we went to the ER, and I witnessed something that stuck with me forever, and I knew I could never be a doctor. And now I found myself assaulted with another horrific scene.

The air was rank with burnt flesh, something my nose had ignored until my eyes saw it. There were men and women, sprawled out on the once pristine carpet, crying out in agony. I wanted to retch, I wanted to vomit up all the alcohol I had consumed the night before, and yet, for some reason my stomach remained calm.

I would only realise later that I had already adapted the mentality that I was already as good as dead. Once you admit that to yourself, you can do anything.

Without thinking I went to the man who looked the most seriously injured and did what I could for him, before dragging him to Sick Bay where I immediately saw Dr. McCoy furiously trying to keep up with the sudden volume of critical patients. He did notice me, more or less, he noticed the man I hauled in.

"Is there more?" he asked me quickly as he did a quick assessment of my patient.

"At least another 10." I replied as I headed towards the doors to leave and help the other injured I had found but this time I had help as I jogged pack. Some of the injured men followed me with what looked like stretchers.

We managed to get them all to the sick bay without any fatalities. There was nothing more I wanted to do than leave sick bay, and leave the smell of pain and blood, and yet I couldn't. I did what I could for Dr. McCoy. I caught blankets, water, extra vials. I picked up trash and discard uniforms that were thrown on the ground amidst the chaos.

It seemed like hours later, and in reality it was eight hours later Dr. McCoy and his medical staff had all crew members looked after and resting relatively comfortably, that we paused to look around. All eyes stopped on me.

I looked down at myself, covered in blood, all of which was not my own, and essentially naked. I didn't care.

"What, what happened?" I asked, finally allowing myself to re-experience the fear that I had awoken to.

"We were attacked by Klingons." Said a voice that I recognized, however, it was exhausted. I looked up at James as he ran his hands through his hair as he surveyed the sick bay. He looked so tired, so vulnerable, I almost wanted to go to him and offer comfort as I had the injured crew.

"Why?" I whispered more to myself, than to anyone else. He looked at me then, and shook his head.

I felt the stress of the day finally hit me. The horror that I had witnessed and experienced finally hit me. I felt the tears burn at my eyes.

"Why?" I repeated again. "Why? Have people not learned from history?"

No one answered.

I was struggling now with a combination of anger and pain. There were many memories swirling through my mind. I realised I had said those same words once before. Those very same lines.

* * *

Flashback

I had known from the day I was born that I was uniquely special. I knew from the day I was born that my dad was a hero. As I grew older I only realised how much. My father, the Peace Keeper, the ex Special Forced Officer, the man who gives time and time again for those suffering persecution, political and social.

I never fully understood the sacrifices he made; I just knew how sad I was whenever he had to leave. I knew how much I worried for him even though I never really knew how much danger he was in. It was later in life when I almost understood.

I was 16 years old when it happened. 16 years old and living a life of luxury, 16 years old and angry with my dad for missing my latest swim meet and latest major achievement in the water. I knew he would be proud of me, and yet I was still upset he hadn't been there. I had been selfish enough to say to him that I didn't understand why some foreign country was more important than his own flesh and blood daughter.

Three days after he left, there had been a knock at the door, the day I learned that I was officially alone in the world. My mother had died when I was but a few months old, she too had sacrificed her life, except she sacrificed her life for me. She chose to have me even though she knew that during the nine months of her pregnancy her cancer was going to rage out of control and it would be very challenging for her to overcome it after I was born.

On my doorstep was a military chaplain along with the base commander where my father served. I was surprised to see the commander while my father was away. It was very typical for him to stop by when my father was home. I immediately thought he was stopping by to see how I was doing, or to visit our housekeeper Maryanne who he was obviously (even to me) sporting a major crush for.

I was wrong, and my whole world stopped. That evening, when the house had grown still, when I had cried myself out, I had gone out to the yard, and cried to the sky the question that had been wearing on my mind, the big, un answerable 'Why?'.

I gulped back the sob that was threatening to escape, and bid Bones and the nurse's good bye, and headed back towards my room.

I was shaking.

* * *

"Are you ok Jordan" I asked her as I followed her out in to the hallway. She was shaking as she stopped, and turned to me. There were tears glistening in her eyes. I gasped as she threw herself in to my arms, a sob escaping her throat.

I did the first thing that came to mind, I picked her up, cradled her; she smelled awful, and was covered in blood and bits and pieces of, well, burnt flesh. I was fairly certain she wasn't injured; Bones wouldn't have let her leave if she had been hurt. She was just scared I assured myself as I walked with her in my arms towards my quarters.

She cried softly into my neck the whole way. I didn't want to let her go, but she needed to be clean, I guessed. If she was clean she would calm down. I walked straight into, fully clothed with Jordan in my arms, and immediately turned on the water. She continued to cry softly in to my chest as I set her down on her feet, her knees wobbling. I supported her fully.

I washed her gently, all the while she cried in to me. When I was satisfied that she was clean, and would no longer smell of today's ordeal, I picked her up again after wrapping her in a towel.

I took her and laid her down on my bed as I quickly stripped out of my wet uniform and pulled on my pyjamas and lay down next to her. I didn't pull her to me, I didn't have to. She reached for me the minute I was on the bed next to her. She reached to me, and snuggled her body into me, her head immediately burrowing into the curve of m y neck and shoulder.

I cooed at her like you would a baby, I rubbed her back, and eventually she calmed.

"Why?" She whispered to me numbly.

"The Klingons are hostile. They came out of nowhere. I'm fairly certain this is about a planet." I said to her.

She looked at me, her eyes blind with grief. "Why? Senseless death over...land....Nothing changes." She said in the strongest voice I'd heard from her since entering sick bay. Tears spilled over her eyes again, but she didn't sob.

I stroked a hand down her bare back and whispered, "I know Jordan. I know."

I think she realised where she was and who she was with as soon as I said her name as she visibly pulled away from me. "Please don't pull away from me. " I pleaded with her, "Let me protect you."

"Can you protect me from yourself?' she whispered, rolling over, turning her back to me, her chest rising and falling rapidly as I heard her fight to control her breathing.

I rolled closer to her, and pulled her back to my chest, and whispered right in to her ear, "I'm so sorry, for....that.."

She said nothing. "I'm in love with you Jordan..." still nothing, although her breath did catch, "It took losing you to make me realise it."

She said nothing, but she let me snuggle her to me. Her breathing pattern changed, and I realised she was asleep.

I guess it's not very elegant to profess your love to a woman who's just experienced a terrifying ordeal, who is obviously very upset. It was positive that she felt comfortable enough to fall asleep in my arms, or, as I didn't want to admit, she was just so exhausted she couldn't help herself.

Forever the optimist I decided to believe it was because she was again comfortable with me.

Soon enough I was asleep next to her; the comfort of having her warm body next to me, and the exhausting day I had led me straight into a deep sleep.

It was my turn to awake in panic. She was struggling in the bed next to me, calling out for....her father?

I shook her awake, the panic subsiding in me as I realised she was having a nightmare. She awoke with a start and looked at me wide eyed and terrified before the sheen of tears appeared in those wondrous green eyes once again.

I pulled her closer to me again, "Tell me about it...tell me about the dream." I gently whispered in to her ear.


	14. Truth

"James...." I whispered my voice hoarse from the events of the day. I was surprised to find myself in bed with James, his arms around me, his mouth breathing and even and tantalizing rhythm in to my ear as he held me.

"Tell me about it Jordan..." he whispered again.

My body took a deep breath as I shook and cleared my throat. "I never really knew my mother," I started, "and my dad, well, he was all I had. Well I did have Maryanne, she was my nanny and housekeeper, I guess the closest thing to a mother I ever knew. My dad, he was a military operator, Special Forces, a real G.I. Joe. I guess I was pretty lucky, compared to other kids with parents in the service. We didn't move around at all. I lived in one place, and in one house for most of my life." I paused, and felt his hands massaging my shoulders gently.

"When I was a kid he was this hero, my hero. He would be gone, for days, sometimes weeks at a time at a minutes' notice. Once, he got a page when I was in the middle of a 100 m IM, it's a swimming race, and by the time the race was over, when I looked over for him, he was gone. When I got older, I started to resent him being gone. I started to resent the people in other places, the people who couldn't keep the peace, couldn't abide democracy that were always taking him away from me."

I sucked in a deep breath, remembering, "The last time he left, I was sixteen and had just had a vicious argument with him. He had to leave, and I didn't want him to. I didn't want him going to help someone out when I needed him there with me. My reasons were pretty petty. I was jealous that he was always gone when I wanted him all for myself. He was my dad, and my hero, no one else's; off course I didn't say it like that. As soon as he left I felt terrible. I knew it hurt him just as much as it hurt me to go. I knew it, and yet I made it harder for him with my temper tantrums. Three days later, I had just woken up to get ready for school, and there was a knock on the door. He was KIA, killed in action. They never said where, how and by who, that information was classified.." my voice caught on a sob, as I continued, "When his body was repatriated, that flag draped casket, that the bag pipes..." I murmured, "I had to go with the coroner to the base morgue...to identify that it really was my father..."

I had to stop and catch my breath. James pulled me tighter, still massaging my arms, and still breathing in my ear. "He was....burnt. Burnt and parts of him....had been....removed." I sobbed, this time I rolled over swiftly and tucked my head into James, crying in to his chest.

"We had a wake and a funeral. I received people's condolences, but it was all hazy. I went back to school, but I wasn't really there. I did all the things I was supposed to do, but I was a disconnected person. I rushed through school, and finished early, and left the house, and the place I grew up in and never went back."

He held me, saying nothing and continuously massaging me. "Today, the injured, the hurt....they made me remember. I haven't...had nightmares since....since I was in university..." I cried gently now, I was weak from reliving the most horrific moments of my life.

His hands were now in my hear, gently massing my scalp. It felt good, and calmed me down almost immediately. He placed a gentle kiss on my forehead.

"Thank you." He said.

"For what?" I asked confused.

"Thank you for telling me this. " he paused. "Thank you for trusting me." another pause, "Thank you for your strength. Thank you for helping my crew. Thank you for being here with me right now."

"I'm not strong, at all." I whispered, moving so that I could look into his eyes. His eyes were shinning bright with unshed tears, which shocked me. One fell and I reached gently to catch it on my finger tip.

"You are. Your father, I'm sure he would be so proud of you." He murmured and kissed my forehead again.

"I think so too." I agreed.

He pulled me close and kissed me, his lips gentle on my own. There was no doubt in my mind that he was sorry.

"I never got the chance to tell my father I didn't mean it. That I was sorry, that I loved him and forgave him for leaving me all those times..." I murmured my face inches from his, "I won't make the mistake again. I'm in love with you James. I have been for awhile. Seeing you with another woman hurt pretty bad because I am in love with you. I forgive you because I love you."

* * *

"You love me?" I whispered in awe. I had an inkling that she did, but just hearing it, was like a million supernova's went off in me.

"Yes." She said looking at me, her eyes a reflection of her feelings. I was overcome, and pulled her on top of me, perhaps a tad roughly. Her eyes went wide as a gasp escaped her throat. Her head was now settled between my neck and the pillow, her breasts were squished against my chest, our bodies were perfectly aligned. Her torso rose and fell with my breathing and I could feel her heart beating against my chest, as I'm sure she could feel mine on hers.

"Thank you." I said to her again, my voice full of love. I'd never heard myself sound like that before, I liked it.

She said nothing but snuggled in to me even more, if that was possible. She sighed and we both started to fall back asleep.

It had been a stressful day, there had been many injured, but we had overcome. And Jordan and I, well we had overcome my stupidity. I closed my eyes and allowed myself to be lulled back to sleep by her breathing.

* * *

I awoke several hours later with her partially naked body tangled around me. The events of yesterday rushed back to me immediately, but all I could focus on in that moment was her body wrapped around my own.

I groaned as I felt parts of myself awakening, and my hands involuntarily (I swear) to her hips where they rested on her soft, warm skin.

She sighed, and shimmied closer to me, nearly throwing me over the edge. Her hand snaked down from where it rested my chest and gently kneaded me, there. She was obviously still asleep, her eyes were closed and her breathing hadn't changed.

I didn't dare move as her hand continued to knead and massage me, I had to bite my lips to hold back a groan of pleasure. She was starting to wake up now her eyelids were fluttering open, and soon her groggy eyes were looking in to my aroused blue ones.

Her hand didn't stop it's massage, as the fog cleared from her brain. She moved up my body ever so slightly, and I found myself on the verge of ecstasy as she leaned in and kissed me. My hands moved up from her waist, up her ribcage and the hand that was massaging me stilled.

Her eyes were wide with shock, a blush was creeping into her cheeks, "That's not your arm I'm rubbing, is it?" she said in a rush of words, embarrassment pouring out of her.

"No, baby, it's not." I purred, I couldn't help myself.

"Oh..James...I...I'm sorry. I thought...I'm sorry." She mumbled quickly in an attempt to disengage herself from my hold, I was having none of it.

"Mmm..Jordan, don't be sorry...it felt great." I said cheekily, hoping that would indicate to her to continue. She didn't, she turned more read and closed her eyes. I couldn't read her emotions when her eyes were closed. "What's wrong?" I asked watching her, waiting for her eyes to open.

She shook her head. "I don't really know..."

"Talk to me Jordan." I murmured, by entire attention focused on her face now, and not on the throbbing erection I had from her massage.

"I don't know how to do this..." she said expecting me to understand what 'this' was.

"What do you mean by 'this'?" I asked.

She indicated us with her hands, "this" she said looking at me now, her eyes showing signs of embarrassment and nerves.

"I don't follow baby, what do you mean?" I asked, still not understanding.

She sighed, and finally spat it out, "Intimacy. I don't know how to do it."

"You do it just fine love." I cooed. What the hell was she talking about?

"I mean sex James. I don't know anything about it. I've never done it." She blurted.

This time it was my turn to gape at her, shock and awe were evidently clear on my face. I couldn't even focus on her face as the words sank in. My Jordan was a virgin, and I'd been a fool.

"A virgin?" I sputtered, feeling like a moron for needing more clarification.

She nodded.

"As in, you've never been...sexually active with a man?" I said again, in complete shock.

She nodded again.

"How?" I asked before I could stop myself.

She answered, even though there was no need, "I never trusted anyone. I never had time." She murmured, squirming on me to try and break my hold. I was not letting her go.

"Do you trust me, Jordan?" I asked, gazing in to her eyes, watching for my answer.

"Yes."

"Good. Trust me on this one baby, I'm going to do this right." She looked at me confused.

I chuckled, " Come on sweetheart, let's go get something to eat."

"What about sex?" she asked, nervous.

"We'll get there." I said, self assurance emanating from me. I had her trust and love, I could wait for sex. I could wait until the end of time for her to come to me.


	15. Interludes

Three weeks later I was sitting in James's quarters reading over material on the cultures that the Federation had made contact with. I was hoping if I could become educated in them, they would find a position for me within the crew. I was no longer bored, but I still felt like there was more I could be doing. I had my mind set on having James or Spock create a position of Cultural Liaison that would be more than suitable for me, but first, I had to know about the cultures.

The door hissed open and I looked up to see James smilling at me, "Hey good looking, what's cooking?" I said to him giving him a cheeky wink. He didn't respond, just walked towards me and kissed the tip of my nose.

"Whatcha reading?" he asked, curiously flipping the book closed to read the cover. "The Mating Rituals of Orions?"

I looked up at him from underneath my eyelashes, a light blush tinting my cheeks. I nodded.

"Why are you reading this?"he asked with a huge grin on his face.

"Well, Nyota was telling me a story......about back at the Academy...." I suggested, telling half the truth.

"She was, was she?" he said pulling me up to stand in his arms.

"Mmm hmm. She was telling me about a certain, young, cocky, debonair captain to be hiding under a...." I murmured against his lips.

"Enough. Kiss me woman."

"Yes Captain."

* * *

"James?" I whispered, quietly sneaking in to his quarters. It was late, but I couldn't sleep. He was sleeping peacefully and didn't budge when I whispered his name.

I crawled in to bed next to him and gently snuggled myself to him, he didn't awake.

I awoke to his hands caressing my shoulders, his lips tracing the same path.

"Good morning. " he whispered when he noticed I was awake.

"Good morning." I murmured back.

"Couldn't sleep?"

"No....I hope you don't mind.."

He laughed gently and pulled me tight to his chest and kissed me. "Off course not baby. It's a pleasant surprise to wake up with you next to me."

I kissed him with more passion than I had ever before, and I couldn't stop my body, soon I was sitting astride his torso, kissing him.

His hands were all over me in an instant, our lips locked firmly. I was panting as I pulled my lips away from his.

"Now, that's a wake up." He purred, looking up at me, pure passion and need shinning in his blue eyes.

"Mmm.." I murmured leaning forward to kiss his forehead again. "What's on the schedule today?"

"Well, I think I will take my pretty girl to breakfast...and then after that, well..."

"You have a date with your chair?"I laughed, teasing him.

"What has Uhura told you about my chair?" he asked, indignant.

"Nothing sweetie. It was Spock."

* * *

Jim and had enjoyed breakfast together, joking and flirting as we usually did. He left me with a kiss heading toward the bridge, and I headed off to take care of my own errands.

I walked towards Sick Bay thinking about nothing but James.

"Jordan! What brings you to sick bay?" McCoy called to me as soon as I walked in and the doors were shut.

"Hey Bones..." I said walking over to him.

"Are you feeling well doll, you're a little flushed." He asked, concern immediately reflecting in his voice.

"No, no, I'm fine. I just, I'm a little embarrassed." I said, "I need your advice."

He nodded, and ushered me in to his office.

"I have these pills from my time..." I said pulling the package out of my pocket and handing them to him. "I'm wondering, do you have something similar that I can take?"

"Synthetic hormone pills?" he asked reading the packet. I nodded.

"For the prevention of conception?" he continued, and I nodded again, diverting my eyes from his.

"We don't use these anymore." He said.

"What do you use?" I asked.

He began to explain.

* * *

I left Dr. McCoy about an hour later, my mind a jumble of information. Mankind had changed a lot since my time, I was now well aware. Men and women didn't even share the surprise of conception anymore. It was all cold, clinical, calculated and planned.

Hearing the process from Bones had left me feeling a little queasy. It also made me realise that I wanted babies, and I wanted babies the convention way of men and women from my time. I would continue to take my birth control pills until they ran out, and then, well, then James and I would have to talk.

Off course, we had yet to have sex, or make love. I wasn't sure what the proper terminology was after hearing McCoy describe the creation of new human life.

I settled myself for the remainder of the afternoon in James's quarters, as I had been doing since the Klingon attack. His quarters were roomier and more adorned than my own. I found I was more comfortable curling up on his sofa and reading a book than I was on my own. It was his scent, it lingered in the air, it was on the blanket I would wrap around myself. It was like having him close when he was afar.

I curled up on his sofa with his blanket and began reading another book on Orions. I had only been teasing James about his previous experience with Orion's. He was fun to tease, especially when he got riled up.

I found myself drifting to sleep with James on my mind and a smile on my face.

* * *

I found her sleeping on my sofa, wrapped up in my blanket with a discarded book in her lap. She looked so peaceful, with a gentle smile on her face. She looked healthy enough to me, I thought as I did a quick scan of her appearance.

I had received some worrisome news when I was on the bridge. Jordan had been seen by Chekhov heading in to Sick Bay. I was worried immediately and it was all I could do to stay seated in my chair and calmly issue orders. Finally, I had my opportunity and I went to find her, knowing full well I would find her in mu quarters.

I walked over the sofa and gently moved a piece of her golden brown hair from her face. I leaned forward and kissed her forehead. Her eyelids immediately started to flutter open.

"James..." she whispered in a soft, loving voice and I found my heart in my throat as I leaned in to kiss her lips.

"Are you ill sweetheart?" I asked her in the calmest voice I could muster.

"Sick? No, off course not...why do you think that?" she asked, her eyes immediately coming to life with concern as she looked in to my eyes.

"Someone saw you go in to sick bay..." I murmured burying my hands in her hair.

"Oh.."

"Why were you at sick bay?"

"Am I not allowed to visit Bones?" she asked. OK, she had a point.

"Off course you are allowed to visit McCoy. I guess I just worried out of turn."

She caved, "I went to see him about some questions I had." She finally said.

"What kind of questions?" I prodded.

"About...well...about contraception." She murmured so softly I barely heard her, but I knew I had heard her correctly, her cheeks were immediately red.

"And?"

"And what ?"

"What do you think about what he said?" I asked, waiting her answer.

"I think it's cold, clinical, and men and women miss out on the bond that forms between them when they create new life out of love." She said in a burst of words, as her face turned even more red.

I leaned forward and kissed her.

"Are you saying you would like to have children?" I prodded, unsure of what exactly she meant by that outburst.

She looked at me now, her eyes fiery, passionate. "Yes. But not right away off course."

"How about this, how about we worry about all of this when the time comes?" I suggested, giving her another kiss.

"That's what I was thinking. Although James?" she trailed off on a question.

"Mm?"

"Tonight, will you teach me?" she looked at me through her eyelashes, a move that never failed to turn me on.

"Teach you what?" At this point I would teach her anything if she asked. She loved me enough to worry about conceiving children before I was ready, which meant she was thinking about us, moving to the next level, and hell, she loves me and I love her.

"Teach me, what you were doing in that story about the Orion..." she whispered cheekily, now looking up at me, those green eyes of hers full of love and desire.

I growled, "You got it."


End file.
